Night Walk
- Notice
- Dysphoria
- NSFW
- Panic
Ollie pulled down his long sleeved shirt and stared at his pasty dry arms in the bathroom mirror. The moles were climbing along his arm. One mole in particular was cracked and infected.
Ollie plugged the bathtub and turned off the lights. Ollie slowly pulled himself into the bathtub and once seated turned on the tap. Ollie twitched as fear gripped his heart like a tapeworm.
I wake up late in the afternoon with a splitting headache. TMJ, bad posture and too much time on the internet. I swallow a Tylenol and pull myself out of bed. By sunset I make it to the door. I throw on a large coat to hide my meagre gyno and head out.
Ollie began the day's ceremony of grinding coffee. Ollie unplugged the coffee grinder. Ollie poured in the coffee beans. Ollie plugged in the coffee grinder. Ollie thought about putting his fingers in the coffee grinder. Ollie ground the coffee. Ollie unplugged the coffee grinder. Ollie spotted left out scissors on the countertop. Ollie thought about sticking the scissors in his eyes. Ollie put the scissors away in the drawer beneath the countertop.
Downtown, I sip a cup of coffee comatose in a chain coffee shop until near midnight. It's very quiet and there's no traffic on the street. You can walk across the road pretty freely and there's a pleasant feeling like soft cotton in your head.
In the dark in the bad parts of town out among the street people I start to feel a little alive.
Ollie took a cup of coffee and a slice of banana bread to the little table in the hall outside the college library proper. Ollie crumpled over his laptop and began to exorcise the images that dug like wasps against his skull.
Earlier that day a man and a woman kissed in the park. I
thought: I should tackle the girl to the ground and I should smash her
head against the pavement and I should rape her.
I take a shit in a public bathroom in Victory square. A massive constipation coffee dump. The guy in the room watching everything reminds me to flush. Fucker.
I walk home down through China town. I'm tall and keep away from those roaming about at these hours. A deep anger keeps me moving on through the cool air.
Ollie rushed out of the classroom claiming he needed to go to the toilet. Ollie's balls hurt. Ollie's balls hurt a lot. In the toilet stall Ollie fiddled with his nuts. Balls in a rubber sack the cords caught twisted burning.
I make it home my legs all tired and the spite worked out a little. I turn off the lights and lie down prone in bed under the covers and I masturbate with my fist pressuring myself thinking of women and cock. I touch my chest and I think of shiny goddesses.
Ollie orgasmed face down grinding his hips against his bed and hand and staining the sheets with clear fluid and a foul smell.