Nevertheless, Molossus Spondee Coded

be me

be born in Vancouver

high cost of living

dirt poor

second son of the family

my dad was a failed starving artist

my mother worked at data entry at a bank

she was fat with a broken back

and at home they didn't do much but eat and watch TV

I mostly grew up alone on books and the computer

at school I was never really bullied

I'd come home and my parents would ask

Were you bullied today at school?

Nothing happened at school

I just hid behind the back at lunch and did nothing

all of my life just nothing

I got a job below my skills and paid my way through college

but the rage ate away at me

I would walk along the streets for hours

just walking away the rage

I had violent and suicidal and sexual and jealous thoughts

I began to suffer at college

I sat in a haze at the library through exams for courses I hadn't been to all semester

but I pushed through

I got an Associate's Degree in CS

I worked part time 10 hours a week

barely

are a job that didn't really use my skills

at night I would feel like I was choking on the smell of burning garbage

so I would go for long walks

I started writing poetry

just sitting at the library and writing poetry all day

I developed weird pains through out my body

I always had body issues

and when I was 24 I got badly sunburned

I freaked out and went to the emergency room

fully convinced I was dying of skin cancer

I kept going on in a fog

in pain and suicidal everyday

I was convinced my face was swelling up oddly

it was round about a year after that

I began meditating

and it really saved my life

I became really accomplished

I meditated a lot

I had to because I was in so much pain

but soon the choking rage came back

eventually I bought a skirt

and it was when I put it on I had to admit I was trans